allahu akbar allahu akbar..
allahumma laka shumtu, wabika amantu, wa ala rizkika afthortu, birahmatika yaa arhamarrahimiin..
di halte kulihat dirimu di halte kembali kulihat dirimu
masih menunggu
masih mainkan lagu itu
aku pun terharu
di halte selalu kulihat dirimu
selalu menunggu
mainkan lagi lagu itu
aku pun bertanya padamu
tanyaku "siapakah dia yang setiap hari kau tunggu?"
jawabmu "aku menunggu bus yang membawaku ke tempat-mu"
tanyaku "bolehkah aku menjemput-mu?"
tanyamu "bisakah aku mempercayai-mu?"
jawabku "sang waktu akan menjawab, namun cintaku tak meminta banyak, dan tak mengenal kata kadaluarsa"
belom pernah denger kan kalo gw sering banget mimpi buruk. dan yang bikin gw bangun dengan nafas terengah engah, jantung berdegup kencang sekali, plus gemetar luar biasa, adalah mimpi ini selalu menceritakan kejadian yang sama, namun lokasinya selalu berbeda beda. entah udah berapa kali gw alami mimpi kaya gini. pernah nonton supernatural? itu lho.. tv series yang ceritanya tentang 2 orang kakak beradik yang mencari jejak ayahnya, namun di tengah perjalanan mereka selalu berhadapan dengan kejadian kejadian ghaib. seperti misalnya mitos "the woman in white" di tengah jalan yang selalu nebeng sama orang lewat, udah itu disuruh nganterin pulang tapi malah disasarin ke kuburan. lalu mitos "bloody mary" yang bener2 akan keluar dan bisa ngebunuh orang yang nyebut namanya 3 kali di depan cermin kamar mandi.
august, 2005. i woke up in a room. it's a rather bit small room, probably a hotel room.. oh yeah.. i forgot. i was on a journey. a journey looking for a new town. where i can find comfort. where i can find the place i belong. the fireplace was burning, but strange.. there's no sound of crackling fire. i can't help the urge to smoke a bit. but i can't find my cigarettes. i walked out of the hotel room to buy some. there's a gas station in front of the hotel, and there's a a mini store nearby. so i think i'll fill up my car as well. as i pay my cigs to the storekeeper, a big red bus came out of nowhere and parked in the hotel. they surely have many people in it, seeing from the size of the bus. so i walked to see the bus and the people in it. but strange. the bus was empty. the driver got out of the bus. he was wearing a uniform. he didnt lay his eyes on me. it creeps me out that i decided to smoke my cigs. and then suddenly. the earth was shaking. there's a crack beneath the bus, and it's getting bigger as i tried to understand what the hell is going on. the crack's getting bigger. i backed off a bit trying to see it from a wider view, and trying not to get stuck in the hole made up by the crack. but then i ran to the gas station. i ran, cos that's what you do when suddenly the crack's grow bigger and kept aftering you wherever you go. as i reached a safe spot at the gas station, i'm thinking of saving my car first. but then a loud cracking and thundering noise waved through the air that morning. the hotel breaks. swallowed by the crack. fallen into the hole. the bus was aslo swallowed. then after a while, the crack stops. i was numb for a moment. but then the police and firefighters came up and surrounded the area. i guess this is a good time to leave. cos i wont have any time to be interrogated by the authorities. never wanna mess with them. so i started my car engine and get going.
dan gw terbangun saat itu juga.december, 2005. i woke up in yet another hotel room. i guess this time it was an evening. the sky was already dark. and i ran out of drinks. oh yeah.. i used up my "Aqua" to fill the car's radiator, and add some water to the windshield-wiper-fluid reservoir. the air conditioner was not working. damn, it was burning hot that i decided to go out to find some fresh air, and some fresh water. so i walked a bit around the block. i didn't bring my car this time. the streets of bukit sentul were actually beautiful at night. i reached a viewing point. i stopped for a moment and enjoy the scenery. the lights were pretty. the wind blows gently. well.. it was a bit cold. but luckily i brought my jacket with me. i closed my eyes for a second.. it was peaceful.. i can even feel the ground shaking.. wait. the ground was shaking? i opened my eyes and quickly move away from that place. i knew it. it's happening again. i try to get back to my hotel as soon as possible. all i can think of was my car. i need to secure my car. i can't go anywhere without it. i ran back as quickly as i could. the shake feels greater everytime i stomp my feet to the ground, and pushed myself forward. after a few distances, i saw it. i saw the very same red bus like the one from my past dream. it was parked on a parking lot. i shouted at the bus, "wait !!!" but this time it was too late. the ground breaks apart. it was the same like i experienced in my past dream. the hotel breaks apart, shattered down, and the bus also fall down the big hole. but this time, i haven't got a chance to see the driver. or whoever it is..
this morning. september, 2006. this time i don't know why. i woke up, in my room. yeah, my very own room. feels like i'm in the real world. this is the same room where i slept last night. i can still smell my wet shirts from last night. the nasty smell of my socks. eyuck.. the air conditioner, which is cooler than the refrigerator. what bothers my mind was "why did i have to woke up here"? why not in another hotel room? why it has to be my home this time? is IT going to happen here? i can barely feel something wrong is going to happen. that day, every second feels like another minute, and every minute feels like another hour. the day felt longer than 24 hours. i watched the surroundings closely, and hope that that damned bus didn't park in front of my home. i hope nothing happens to my home. cos if anything happens.. *knock on wood* but if the bus DID park in front of my home, i'll have the chance to meet the driver and confront him, finally. i can stop this whole thing from happening at my home. well.. especially, stop this whole thing from happening again. i thought i had found the pattern already. i went upstairs. i can watch the surroundings better from here. i reached my pocket. hey.. i still have some cigs from last night too. ah damn. i left my lighter at the desk in my room. so i go back down for my lighter. but something came up. i threw my cig away. it was the bus. i saw the bus passed by my home. the very same red bus with no marking whatsoever. the color was flashing red like it's sent from hell. and as it passed my home, the cloud suddenly turned dark. the air felt like it was polluted. i knew it. this shit is going to happen again. as i told you before, i thought i had found the pattern. i thought the bus was going to park in front of my home. but i was wrong. the ground start to lose integrity. it moved. it's shaking. oh god. no. not now. not this time. not here. please. please don't happen here. i can't stop it. i can't do anything. i thought if could confront the bus driver, i could stop this from happening. damn it. i can't see either the bus or the driver. it's funny how i actually hoped to see any of them, while the ground was shaking beneath me. i ran away from my home. as quickly as i can. i can still feel my heart shouted "NOOOOOO...!!!" but it was no use. the ground swallowed my home. it breaks apart. it's gone. i left my home with a shattered heart. and kept telling myself. why? why did i even brought my home into this. why didn't i tried to chase the bus? why didn't i tried harder to stop this thing from happening? so my home is finally gone. i walked back to see what's left of it. damn. nothing's left. wait. what was it down there. what the hell? that freakin' bus was there! it was buried beneath my house, all along. what is going on here? is this something i dont understand? is there something i miscalculated? huh? wait. while i was busy with my brain, thinking those things, i heard footsteps among my ruined house. it's closing in on me. where does it came from? i looked everywhere but still can't find where did the sound came from. moments later, the footsteps suddenly stopped. i looked behind my shoulder. and there he was. standing on his burning feet. staring at me with his cold eyes, and a big grin. it was the driver. i did had the chance to saw him this time. but i can't do anything. i'm numb. shaking like hell. i finally confront the missing piece of the puzzle. but i can't move. i can't do anything. why? why? i can't help it. i passed out.
all..
along..gw hanya berharap bisa selalu terbangun.
[Bondan, Selasa 26 September 2006, between 11:59:59 AM dan 12:00:00 PM, is this a curse?][00:00]
Bondan : "Je, dimana loe?"
BiJe : "di ubud man, loe dimana?"
Bondan : "gw juga di karawaci neh"
BiJe : "ngapain luh?"
Bondan : "iseng aja muter2 hahaha.. ngga deng, abis balikin sesuatu"
BiJe : "balikin apaan? balikin hati?"
Bondan : "kampret!"
BiJe : "ehuehuehuehuee.."
Bondan : "eh kasur lipet gw yg kmaren itu masih ada ama loe kan?"
BiJe : "ada, mo diambil?"
Bondan : "yaudah gw ambil ye?"
BiJe : "okeh."
Bondan : "ntar kalo gw udah deket gw ketok aja ye"
BiJe : "okeh."
[01:05]
Bondan : "eh yaudah gw balik yak"
BiJe : "ok deh"
Bondan : "eh main main ke studio dong!"
BiJe : "ah udah gampang ntar"
Bondan : "kapan dong jalan lagi kita?"
BiJe : "atur ajah.."
[02:16]
Bondan : "ya gitu deh ut, tapi akhirnya emang putus baik baik kok"
Uut : "heehhehehehehe.. belom kapok nih ama brisbane?"
Bondan : "taeah."
Uut : "heheh.. balik deh gw, mo sahur"
Bondan : "sama deh, ngejar jam 3 nyampe rumah"
[03:21]
Bondan : "lah ngga pada bangun sahur?"
Mama : "itu lagi pada dibangunin"
Bondan : "wih apa nih?"
Mama : "ayam bakar, ayam goreng, sama sup yg tadi malem beli"
Bondan : "hmmh, kuahnya enak nih"
[04:20]
Mama : "heh jangan tidur dulu, ngga subuhan?"
Bondan : "ih, siapa yg tidur, jelas2 melek gini.. nunggu adzan bentar.."
Mama : "mbok ya kamu berdoa yg banyak, biar apa apa nya sukses"
Bondan : "iya mama ngga usah bilang juga aku solat, doa sama zikir kok"
Mama : "ya bukan apa apa.. mama cuma pengen.."
Bondan : "ma.. udah deh.. jangan dibahas lagi ya, please"
*strike one..*
[08:35]
Bondan : "ma, berangkat dulu ya.."
Mama : "eeeh mau kemana?"
Bondan : "mau ke studio, kerjaan masih banyak, deadline nih"
Mama : "lho nanti gimana mau beli makanan macem macem"
Bondan : "aduh aku udah dikejar deadline nih ngga bisa diganggu gugat deh pokoknya.."
*strike two..*
[10:28]
Bondan : "ya halo.."
Mama : "bon, nanti pulangnya jangan pas buka ya"
Bondan : "loh gimana sih?"
Mama : "iya kan mau minta tolong beliin makanan buat buka"
Bondan : "waduh, aku kayaknya buka di studio aja deh, ini target musti kelar hari ini"
*strike three.. you're out.*
hmm.. susah ya, menjaga perasaan orang lain saat bulan puasa.. takut batal nih pahala hari pertama.. duh.. maaf ya..
[Bondan, Minggu 24 September 2006, 06:25 PM, with a bit guilty feeling.]
bintang
menemani
__________bulan
__________menghias
____________________langit
aku menunggu saat bertemu (kembali) dengan-mu..
bondanrastika@24/9/06 - 862
Open up and let me in, I am getting cold
I’ve been trying to prove you wrong
But now it’s getting old
I’ve made some blunders, I’ve made a few
I’m full of regrets
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what went wrong
Can you forget about it and move on
Open up and let me in, I’m begging you
I know I’ve done some big mistakes
But don’t shove me out
I cannot turn back time and even if I could
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what went wrong
Can you forget about it and move on
Can you forget about it and move on
I know it cuts like a knife
The pain that I’ve done to you
There is no telling of what’s to come
But I wanna see it through
If I could take it away, you know I would
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what I’ve done
There’s no excuse for what went wrong
Can you forget about it and move on
Can you forget about it and stay strong
Stay strong
Can you forget about it
And move on
[Bondan, Sabtu 23 September 2006, 05:53 AM, trying to let go and move on..]
i asked my room.is this the right place for me?
is this the place where i belong?
my room whispered quietly.i'm sorry. no. my floor is no longer clean. the smell is awful
so i left.
i asked my living room.
is this the right place for me?
is this the place where i belong?
my living room replied softly.i'm sorry. no. the tv is broken and you can't watch it anymore.
so i left.
i asked my house.
is this the right place for me?
is this the place where i belong?
my house answered gently.i'm sorry. no. my roof can no longer protect you from rain and heat.
so i left.
i asked the park.
is this the right place for me?
is this the place where i belong?
the park shouted loudly.no! you don't belong here! somebody gets here before you, so go away!
i cried.
then i left.
it's getting dark.
i need to find a place for me to rest.
but then a thought flashes before my mind.
then i ask my heart.
is this the right place for me?
is this the place where i belong?
half my heart casts a warm smile.
he said.wherever you go, this is your home.
and then the other half of my heart hugs me comfortly.
she said.
...
i'm all right and i'm staying here with you.
so i stay.
bondanrastika@21/9/06 - 238
sebuah permen yang terbungkus rapi. ia tak pernah tahu kapan kita akan mengambilnya. kubuka bungkusnya. kumasukkan ke dalam mulut. manis..
perasaan ini seperti pernah kurasakan sebelumnya.
kebahagiaan saat menghisap permen.
ingin terus kurasakan.
permen itu menangis.
menangis karena terkikis.
dilumat lidah.
diguyur air liur.
namun tetap dapat memberiku kebahagiaan yang kurasakan.
makin kuhisap.
makin terkikis.
namun tetap terasa manis.
makin menipis.
hingga lama kelamaan habis.
di akhir adanya.
permen itu masih terasa manis.
masih memberiku kebahagiaan yang sama.
perasaan bahagia ini bukan sesaat.
tapi akan tetap ada sampai nanti aku menghisap permen lagi.
bukan permen itu.
karena permen itu sudah habis.
tapi permen yang lainnya.
karena aku masih bisa membeli sebungkus setiap harinya.
aku ingin merasakan kebahagiaan ini seperti saat aku menghisap permen untuk pertama kalinya.
adakah cinta seperti permen?
yang tak perduli akan sakit yang dirasakannya.
walaupun akhirnya akan hilang.
tetapi ia selalu ingin membuat orang yang disayanginya tersenyum.
sampai nanti ia melihat orang yang disayanginya lagi.
sampai nanti orang yang disayanginya merasakan kembali kebahagiaan saat bersamanya.
bondanrastika@20/9/06 - 289 [ut, pinjem ide "rokok"nya ya..]
Congratulations to Miranti & Windu yang sudah dengan sukses melangsungkan akad nikah pada hari Sabtu, 16 September 2006, dan resepsi pernikahan pada hari Minggu, 17 September 2006. Best wishes for both of you.. utamaputranto.video would like to thank to :
- Utama, photographer
- Emil, photographer
- Bondan, director, editor
- Ramos, Fajri, camera person
- Apit, Yosa, Raldi, assistant camera person
- Miranda, Eki, family member
- and Ato Rida, the driver
[Bondan, Senin 18 September 2006, 02:26 PM]
[midnight @ studio]
sampe jam berapa lo tahan begadang? gila. akhir akhir ini gw ngga seperti biasanya. kmaren aja gw masih bisa bangun dengan meleknya sampe jam 3 atau jam 4 pagi. huh. kayaknya daya tahan tubuh gw mulai melemah nih. aaargh.. damn. pengen meng-akhiri ke-single-an gw, tapi rasanya kok blm ada yang "nonjok di muka gw banget" gitu. now this is what i call "being single and busy".. not "being single and happy". well, i am happy, but not that happy.
[wed @ citos]
ladies day. gw sempetin sama temen temen gw sekedar jalan jalan cari pemandangan, kebetulan emang banyak cewe cewe cakep berseliweran kesana kemari di citos. lha ya emang judulnya ladies day. tapi gw curiga, yang dateng itu sebenernya cewe cewe yang emang lagi pengen belanja dan jalan jalan, atau malah isinya cowo cowo yang ngarep bisa kenalan atau paling ngga liat cewe cewe cakep yang lagi jalan jalan sih? ah sutralah. kemaren kenyang juga kok gw liat liat pemandangan hwahahaha.. sayang aja cewe cewe itu ngga liat gw.
[brb ganti lagu di iTunes, sama bakar rokok]
ada seseorang pernah bilang ke gw. nikotin itu pembunuh stress yang bagus. hahaha.. emang sih, gw ngerasa stress gw lumayan berkurang, tapi capeknya masih tetep aja. huh. cari pacar ah.. pada kemana sih cewe cewe cakep?
[anjrit ini di tipi kok pilemnya jadul gini.. sed dah..]
[Bondan, Jumat 15 September 2006, 01:41 AM, capek. tidur ah.]
akhirnya. semua menjadi gelap. tak terlihat. tak terasa. hari hariku dingin. sepi. aku cuma bisa diam dan menunggu. menunggu jalan di depan mataku tebuka lagi. entah kapan aku bisa berjalan lagi. bisa menemukan pintu keluar dari gelap yang menelan semua yang ada di depan dan belakangku. aku menunggu. entah berapa lama aku harus menunggu. menunggu sapaan hangat menyambut suaraku. menunggu sentuhan ramah meraih tanganku. dan menuntunku ke jalan yang baru.
adakah engkau disitu?
...
tunggu.
sekelebat cahaya menyerang mataku.
sekabut awan menusuk dinginku.
suara suara iblis merasuk telingaku.
tangan tangan setan menarik narik tubuhku.
aku terjatuh. dan pingsan.
...
entah berapa lama aku tak sadarkan diri.
hingga akhirnya terbangun dari mati.
kemana gelap itu?
yang sejak lama menelanku.
yang ada hanyalah ada.
matahari menyambutku dengan sinar hangat.
angin membelaiku dengan hembusan sejuk.
siapa disana?
aku memicingkan mata.
mencoba melihat seseorang yang ada di ujung sana.
berjalan menuju arah tempatku berada.
adakah engkau disitu?
bukan.
bukan engkau, tapi dia.
dia.
[Bondan, Sabtu 2 September 2006, 12:43 PM, mencoba bangun lagi.]
[03:55:06]
selesai akhirnya melakukan apa yang sejak beberapa hari ini ingin kulakukan.. rasanya lepas semua beban. tapi juga aku masih belum tau mau kemana setelah ini.. tujuan yang sudah sejak dua tahun lalu kukejar, akhirnya harus disudahi juga. jalan yang tadinya masih terlihat, lama kelamaan berangsur kabur, digantikan dengan balok balok kayu yang makin lama pun menghilang. apa yang kulihat sekarang cuma jalan tanah kosong, ngga ada hiasan apa apa. ini pun lama kelamaan terlihat kabur, pandanganku menyempit, dan tiba tiba semua yang ada di depanku berubah menjadi hitam, gelap. hilang. hampa. tak bernyawa.
antara senang dan sedih.
antara keinginan dan kenyataan.
antara percaya dan curiga.
antara ada.
dan tiada.
antara..
hari ini semuanya berakhir. jalan yang biasa kutapak akhirnya sampai ke ujungnya. selesai begitu aja.di ujung batas itu ngga terlihat apa apa. yang ada cuma gelap. dan plang "sampai disini". sementara itu, aku juga ngga bisa melihat kebelakang. apa yang sudah kulalui pun harus kubuang jauh jauh. dan aku ngga bisa berjalan kebelakang. kalaupun aku bisa memutar waktu, ngga akan membantu banyak.
gelap itu makin mengejar ke tempat aku berdiri sekarang. aku ngga bisa berjalan maju, apalagi mundur. di kiri dan kananku hanya ada jurang. sementara gelap itu makin mengejar.
makin dekat...
makin dekat..
makin dekat.
gelap.
.
akhirnya. semua menjadi gelap. tak terlihat. tak terasa. hari hariku dingin. sepi. aku cuma bisa diam dan menunggu. menunggu jalan di depan mataku tebuka lagi. entah kapan aku bisa berjalan lagi. bisa menemukan pintu keluar dari gelap yang menelan semua yang ada di depan dan belakangku. aku menunggu. entah berapa lama aku harus menunggu. menunggu sapaan hangat menyambut suaraku. menunggu sentuhan ramah meraih tanganku. dan menuntunku ke jalan yang baru.
adakah engkau disitu?
[Bondan, Sabtu 2 September 2006, 04:38 AM, sepi. dingin. gelap.]
ever tried editing with mac? 1 word. exciting.
pertama kali gw actually menyentuh mesin berlogo apel kegigit ini, impression gw cuma 1. keren. one state-of-the-art production machine with a badass mofo editing tools. the package comes with Final Cut Studio, an integrated software lineup consisting of : Final Cut Pro, Motion , Soundtrack Pro, Compressor, and DVD Studio Pro. [click link for images]
Final Cut Pro itu tools untuk non-linear video editing, lengkap dengan transition dan effects library yang ngga bakal abis lo cobain satu2 semaleman. supports multiple video layers as well as audio layers. sering pake Adobe Premiere? nah, Final Cut Pro itu Premiere, tapi apple made.
Motion itu tools buat animation editing, effects library nya ngga kalah banyak sama Final Cut Pro, ditambah koleksi font, filter, dan image particles. think of Adobe's After Effect, tapi bikinan Macintosh.
Soundtrack Pro, jelas dari namanya, tools buat sound editing. bayangin aja, lo bisa ngilangin noise dan glitch di audio file cuma dengan sekali klik! dan masih banyak lagi sample sound effect sama ambience. and i mean great quality.
Compressor, the ultimate delivery tool. export video/audio footage yang udah diedit, ke format apa aja, you name it, Compressor has it. .mov, .avi, .mpeg, .m1v, .m2v, you name it. bahkan bisa langsung export video untuk ukuran iPod!
DVD Studio Pro, tool pamungkas di package Final Cut Studio. create High Definition DVD or Standard Definition DVD, lengkap dengan pilihan template menu dari softwarenya sendiri, subtitling tool yg gampang dipelajari, create DVD menu yang bisa diprogram, multiple subtitle, multiple audio, multiple angle.
Inget pas awal tadi gw bilang integrated? kenapa? karena lo bisa switch cross-app dengan sekali klik. workflownya kira2 kaya gini. OK, pertama2 lo capture video footage pake Final Cut Pro. log clips yang mau dicapture lalu terusin pake batch capture, Final Cut Pro secara otomatis me-rewind tape yang mau lo capture, sampe ke timecode yang udah di log sebelumnya, lalu mulai capture. everything is done automatically, the apple way. lalu selesai capture, lo edit. diantara footage2 itu ada beberapa footage yang mau lo tambahin animasi, switch ke Motion. edit animasi udah kelar, tinggal save project file di Motion, switch back ke Final Cut Pro, file yang lo edit di Motion barusan udah langsung ter-update secara otomatis. audio ngga beres? mau tambahin ambience atau soundtrack? bawa ke Soundtrack Pro. selesai semuanya, switch back lagi ke Final Cut Pro. then again, file yang lo edit langsung ter-update. beres di Final Cut Pro, export movie file pake Compressor, add movie to batch, setting output format, lalu klik submit, bisa ditinggal deh. DVD Studio Pro works in the same way, add movie files to the timeline, divide into chapters, add menus, add subtitles, all you have to do is click on the "Burn" button, insert a DVD-R media, and your masterpiece is done!
i myself prefer to call this package "the ultimate high definition production tool". and i mean ultimate. imagine what can you do with Final Cut Studio, running on the new Mac Pro. damn. definitely want one of those.
for more details and eye-shocking video showcase of the package,
visit : Final Cut Studio Homepage
caution : mupeng tanggung sendiri.
Bondan Rastika
Video Director, Senior Video Editor
utamaputranto.video
and then i came to the parting of the ways..
after long and exhausting thoughts..
i choose.
i lost, but i'm free.
[this better be good.]
If love was a bird then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky we'd be blue
If love was a choir you and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you
If love was an Oscar you and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts
So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated
If love was a fire then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold
If love was a sport we're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you
So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated
Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go
So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated
[Bondan, Rabu 30 Agustus 2006, 09:05 PM, with tears. cause we're better off, separated.]
dont feel like doing anything
dont feel like writing a blog
dont feel like going anywhere
dont feel like watching anything
dont feel like listening anything
dont feel like..
dont feel like listening anything
dont feel like watching anything
dont feel like going anywhere
dont feel like writing a blog
dont feel like doing anything
dont feel.. nothing.
just.. boring.
feels like sleep.
[Bondan, Jumat 10 Maret 2006, 04:40 PM, currently boring. sooo boring.]
damn, that really hit me between the eyes, again. how many times have you ever turned overnight again? i did. again. last night i was so desperate about this relationship, and now we are reunited again.
reunited
hopefully happily ever after
end of the story
concluded.
[Bondan, Rabu 8 Maret 2006, 09:58 PM, currently happy.]
2:30 this afternoon. pergi nganter nyokap ke gajah mada, katanya sih mo ngambil tiket pesawat, besok mo ke surabaya. but damn! dari gw keluar rumah sampe mangga besar aja ujan udah segede2 umat. mana baru cuci mobil pula. cape dah. pas gue lewat mampang, banyak mobil mogok gara2 mesinnya kerendem air banjir. terang aja macet. pas di perempatan KFC [remember KFC? yang di kiri jalan tuh..] ada avanza [avanza apa xenia yak, gak gitu merhatiin] mogok, gw salip dong, pas gue nyalip, tiba2 ada asep item legam pekat tebel kentel naudzubillahmindzalik, ngebul seada2. pas gw liat lebih deket lagi ternyata ada warteg yang lagi on fire alias kebakaran. persisnya di pojok blok setelah KFC. kalo arah menuju kuningan kan KFC sebelah kiri jalan, abis itu kan ada perempatan, nah di blok setelah KFC itu pas banget di pojok ada warteg yg on fire tadi itu. gila dah, sempet2nya sih kebakaran padahal lagi ujan gede banget. gue langsung buru2 dengerin elshinta, telpon ke sana terus ngasih info nya. kayaknya gue yg pertama kali ngasih info deh, soalnya abis itu gue langsung disuruh stand by sama operatornya, katanya bentar lagi on air. eh beneran loh, tau2 radionya feedback pas gue ngomong sama penyiarnya, hehehe.. [ya iyalah feedback, goblog ah]
huff.. this town is so chaos.. well.. jakarta gitu loh..
[Bondan, Senin 6 Maret 2006, 04:29 AM, lagi kedinginan gara2 naek motor pagi2 buta dari jakarta ke karawaci, dan lagi "nganget" di warnet]
selamat tidur.. [ups, shalat subuh.]
nice. gue seharian ini belom tidur secara proper. padahal tadi pagi gue bangun jam 9 [maklum sabtu]. dan sekarang sudah jam tigaaa pagiii saudara saudara. saya harus segera menyentuh kamar dingin ber-ac dan menggelar selimut diatas badan saya. *lupa, matiin lampu dulu terus nyalain cd player, baru tidur* dengerin cd ah..
wait a minute. jam 3? yeah. great. bentar lagi gue. harus. shalat. subuh.
damn!
[Bondan, Minggu 5 Maret 2006, 03:04 AM, sebelom matiin lampu kamar dan nyoba tidur2an sambil dengerin cd.]
damn, that really hit me between the eyes. how many times have you ever turned overnight? i did. last night i was so desperate about this relationship, and before i know, i think i'm falling in love with her again. did i? or was it just me? my feelings? well, whatever. maybe i'm finally totally completely over her, maybe i don't. normally i do believe in "meant-to-be"s, but some recent accidents have made me lost my creed. you're having a relationship with other people, not because you two were "meant-to-be" together. it's because you struggle to get what you want or who you want. try staying at home, don't come out at all, guaranteed your "meant-to-be" will never even figure out where you live. *sigh*
oh hell. whatever. so here i am. struggling for my "meant-to-be". eventhough i don't know what's coming to me. but it's just must be probably maybe. well, no one knows about the future. but now i see things differently. maybe this is just my feelings, but i'm pretty sure about what i feel. i'm finally proud to be me. i'm finally proud to let loose. i'm finally proud to tell the world.
that i need someone like you
not this kind of loneliness
filled with emptiness
that i need someone like you
fill my heart with happiness
till the end of days
and i needed someone like you
please take me
oh take me and we'll fly away
oh, i never told you to buy this crap. lol.
[Bondan, Minggu 5 Maret 2006, 01:33 AM, inspired by someone whose recently being very helpful to me. but still, can't sleep. take me.]
i still remember when it started
felt so lonely broken hearted
said i wasn't motivated
and i don't wanna talk about it
you live your life with no regrets
there's nothing to worry about it
but then i saw you walking alone
so this is me, i'm telling the world
that i need someone like you
not this kind of loneliness
filled with emptiness
and i needed someone like you
please take me
oh take me and we'll fly away
i never knew that love was around me
until you came and set me free
so please don't turn your back on me
cos this is me, i'm telling the world
that i need someone like you
fill my heart with happiness
till the end of days
and i needed someone like you
please take me
oh take me and we'll fly away
[Bondan, Minggu 5 Maret 2006, 00:36 AM, gak ada kerjaan. gak bisa tidur. you name it lah.]
life is a game you'll just have to play
you cannot walk away
whenever you feel like you lost your way
trust in yourself and follow the sun
then you'll realize
the best in life is yet to come
people are known for their falling down
shatter and break down
losing the battle of endless war
but they also live to keep on fighting
rise and shine
for the pride and glory don't come easy
when you're facing death in hand
you'll feel that you're truly alive
no matter where you stand
just dont give up and keep the dreams alive
stand out !!
and watch your ground
believe in your way like the things that you say
break out !!
inside your heart
even if you got to shout out loud
reach out !!
above the sky
spread your wings and fly
you might not be the only one
but the least that you can do
is reach for your dreams
[Bondan, Senin 05 September 2005 03:08 PM, sambil dengerin lagu2 anime yg baru di download]
rekaman..
tidur..
rekaman..
tidur..
morum..
cek friendster..
rekaman..
tidur..
rekaman..
cek friendster..
morum..
tidur..
- ngga ngapa2in seharian.. -
tidur..
morum..
cek friendster..
tidur..
tidur.
tidur?
bikin lagu deh.
males banget deh minggu ini..
no spirit at all..
hmm. kangen.
eh, tenang aja lagi, gw sendiri juga ngga ngerti arti tulisan gw diatas itu apaan..
[Bondan, Senin 29 Agustus 2005, 07:11 AM, dengan otak yang lagi agak gila, sambil bermalas-malasan.]
bleblebleblebleblebleblebleb..
fuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh...
akhirnya selesai juga segala urusan pindahan.. fiuh.. lega rasanya.. semua tagihan udah kelar dilunasin, internet gw udah nyala lagi, dan skr gw duduk di kursi yg baru huhuhu.. asik, selamat tinggal pegel punggung gara2 kursi rusak sialan.. and this happens to be the best day of the month..
i'd like to call this a 'starting day'.. hey.. i'm feeling like writing a song, hahaha.. tapi sebelom itu, kayaknya gw mo makan dulu deh..
slurp!
[Bondan, Kamis 25 Agustus 2005, 08:18 PM, sambil ngebayangin makanan, laper. nyam. aaarrrggghh.. TAMBAH LAPER!!!]
what can i say? hahaha.. i packed all my stuffs at 8 PM, and then ready to go by 10 PM. i missed my girlfriend so bad that i decided to move my stuffs again to karawaci, where i can stay online for 24 hours. can't help it, online demands dude, geeheheee..
i reached the spot at barely midnight, yep, 12 in the AM that is. i was going to go looking for midnight snacks, but hey.. what good is a snack without getting my computer back online first? i can't just leave them on the floor. my hands reacted quickly. ok after a few sessions with dusts, finally my computer is back in action, so i switch the power on. but wait a minute..
the hard drive wasn't detected. what the f**k??? oh no you don't.. i'm not going anywhere until i get my computer back online and i can leave some messages to my girlfriend. so i do a little dust job again, and then i do the 'plug n pray' stuff. yea rite. don't even think to laugh. i said "please.. please.. i just wanna have a good night sleep, okay?" then i switch the power again and, *poof -- beep -- bzzzt* awrite... my old junk is back online again.. so i left some messages to my girlfriend, and then before i know it, it was already 2 in the morning.
damn.
i guess there goes my midnight snack. hahaha..
i'm thinking of a new haircut, so i took some photos and post them here, *yeah.. gondrong rulez.. hahaha..* oh well.. gotta take care of some things tomorrow, so i better get some rest before my midnight sleep turns into a morning sleep.. euh..
[Bondan, Rabu 24 Agustus 2005, 04:36 AM, still listening to my acoustic songs.. and still hungry for some midnight snacks..]
i pushed myself to the limit
but i always end up running in the same circles again
i tried to break the wall in front of me
but do i really have the strength to do it?
everything i do just seemed so wrong
i can't even done anything right
no matter how hard i struggle
i was always stuck
stuck somewhere near the starting line
while everybody go on with their new destinations
just as if i weren't there
sometimes i just wanna runaway from the reality
runaway to a place in my head
and i don't have to come back
so i did
i ran away
but even the further i ran, still, i'm stuck
i'm stuck with all my problems
so i stopped to catch my breath
and get ready to run again
but then
everything just went blur
and so does your eyes
no one's going to tell you what the future will be
you can only wonder
will you ever gonna make it?
think about it.
[Bondan, Rabu 24 Agustus 2005, 03:41 AM, while listening to my acoustic songs.]
huahm.. ngantuk.
wake up from my four post bed and take a look around
the fireplace still burning but it doesn't make a sound
i tried to find my cigarettes but it's nowhere to be found
and i wonder.. i wonder what the hell is going on
sometimes i think that maybe i should walk beyond the line
cos i just finally realize that i was left behind
this town has grown inside of me while i'm looking for a
peace of mind.. a lonely place where everything's just fine
i grabbed my keys and coat then drive along the neighborhood
a blind man came from nowhere and he's trying to cross the road
i'd like to stop and help him out but it's green light where he stood
still i wonder.. i wonder what the hell is going on?
stopped by on the local store near the station down the town
i asked the man to fill it up so i can drive back down
he seems to think what's right is wrong but i can only think of one..
will i ever gonna make it to this town?
ooh..
will i ever gonna make it to this town?
[Bondan, Kamis 21 Juli 2005, 01:24 AM, with a friend.]
Times
