nightmare | the curse of this town

belom pernah denger kan kalo gw sering banget mimpi buruk. dan yang bikin gw bangun dengan nafas terengah engah, jantung berdegup kencang sekali, plus gemetar luar biasa, adalah mimpi ini selalu menceritakan kejadian yang sama, namun lokasinya selalu berbeda beda. entah udah berapa kali gw alami mimpi kaya gini. pernah nonton supernatural? itu lho.. tv series yang ceritanya tentang 2 orang kakak beradik yang mencari jejak ayahnya, namun di tengah perjalanan mereka selalu berhadapan dengan kejadian kejadian ghaib. seperti misalnya mitos "the woman in white" di tengah jalan yang selalu nebeng sama orang lewat, udah itu disuruh nganterin pulang tapi malah disasarin ke kuburan. lalu mitos "bloody mary" yang bener2 akan keluar dan bisa ngebunuh orang yang nyebut namanya 3 kali di depan cermin kamar mandi.

di serial tv supernatural itu, mitos hantu dan kejadian ghaib yang terjadi disana itu punya siklus, yang artinya waktu terjadinya itu punya pattern sendiri. makanya mereka (2 orang kakak beradik di serial tv itu) selalu menganalisa pattern kejadiannya, sampai akhirnya bisa "menangkap setan"-nya pada pattern kejadian berikutnya. yang gw ngga habis pikir, apakah mimpi gw ini ada patternnya? apakah mimpi gw ini ada maksudnya? apakah mimpi gw ini emang sebuah pertanda akan terjadi sesuatu? soalnya udah berkali kali gw mimpi kaya gini. dan dalam setiap mimpi, gw selalu bisa aware apa yang gw lakukan, gw bisa mengontrol apa yg gw lakukan, pergi kemana, jalan kemana. entah kenapa saat mimpi itu terjadi, gw ngerasa gw hidup, tapi di alam lain. gw pertama kali dapet mimpi ini kira kira sekitar bulan agustus 2005. that's right, setahun yang lalu. kira2 setelah gw nulis blog ini pertama kali, yang judul post-nya "this town". waktu itu kejadiannya kira kira.. seperti ini..

august, 2005. i woke up in a room. it's a rather bit small room, probably a hotel room.. oh yeah.. i forgot. i was on a journey. a journey looking for a new town. where i can find comfort. where i can find the place i belong. the fireplace was burning, but strange.. there's no sound of crackling fire. i can't help the urge to smoke a bit. but i can't find my cigarettes. i walked out of the hotel room to buy some. there's a gas station in front of the hotel, and there's a a mini store nearby. so i think i'll fill up my car as well. as i pay my cigs to the storekeeper, a big red bus came out of nowhere and parked in the hotel. they surely have many people in it, seeing from the size of the bus. so i walked to see the bus and the people in it. but strange. the bus was empty. the driver got out of the bus. he was wearing a uniform. he didnt lay his eyes on me. it creeps me out that i decided to smoke my cigs. and then suddenly. the earth was shaking. there's a crack beneath the bus, and it's getting bigger as i tried to understand what the hell is going on. the crack's getting bigger. i backed off a bit trying to see it from a wider view, and trying not to get stuck in the hole made up by the crack. but then i ran to the gas station. i ran, cos that's what you do when suddenly the crack's grow bigger and kept aftering you wherever you go. as i reached a safe spot at the gas station, i'm thinking of saving my car first. but then a loud cracking and thundering noise waved through the air that morning. the hotel breaks. swallowed by the crack. fallen into the hole. the bus was aslo swallowed. then after a while, the crack stops. i was numb for a moment. but then the police and firefighters came up and surrounded the area. i guess this is a good time to leave. cos i wont have any time to be interrogated by the authorities. never wanna mess with them. so i started my car engine and get going.

dan gw terbangun saat itu juga.

december, 2005. i woke up in yet another hotel room. i guess this time it was an evening. the sky was already dark. and i ran out of drinks. oh yeah.. i used up my "Aqua" to fill the car's radiator, and add some water to the windshield-wiper-fluid reservoir. the air conditioner was not working. damn, it was burning hot that i decided to go out to find some fresh air, and some fresh water. so i walked a bit around the block. i didn't bring my car this time. the streets of bukit sentul were actually beautiful at night. i reached a viewing point. i stopped for a moment and enjoy the scenery. the lights were pretty. the wind blows gently. well.. it was a bit cold. but luckily i brought my jacket with me. i closed my eyes for a second.. it was peaceful.. i can even feel the ground shaking.. wait. the ground was shaking? i opened my eyes and quickly move away from that place. i knew it. it's happening again. i try to get back to my hotel as soon as possible. all i can think of was my car. i need to secure my car. i can't go anywhere without it. i ran back as quickly as i could. the shake feels greater everytime i stomp my feet to the ground, and pushed myself forward. after a few distances, i saw it. i saw the very same red bus like the one from my past dream. it was parked on a parking lot. i shouted at the bus, "wait !!!" but this time it was too late. the ground breaks apart. it was the same like i experienced in my past dream. the hotel breaks apart, shattered down, and the bus also fall down the big hole. but this time, i haven't got a chance to see the driver. or whoever it is..

dan gw terbangun. semua ini terjadi lagi di bulan februari, april, juni, dan agustus, sampai akhirnya..

this morning. september, 2006. this time i don't know why. i woke up, in my room. yeah, my very own room. feels like i'm in the real world. this is the same room where i slept last night. i can still smell my wet shirts from last night. the nasty smell of my socks. eyuck.. the air conditioner, which is cooler than the refrigerator. what bothers my mind was "why did i have to woke up here"? why not in another hotel room? why it has to be my home this time? is IT going to happen here? i can barely feel something wrong is going to happen. that day, every second feels like another minute, and every minute feels like another hour. the day felt longer than 24 hours. i watched the surroundings closely, and hope that that damned bus didn't park in front of my home. i hope nothing happens to my home. cos if anything happens.. *knock on wood* but if the bus DID park in front of my home, i'll have the chance to meet the driver and confront him, finally. i can stop this whole thing from happening at my home. well.. especially, stop this whole thing from happening again. i thought i had found the pattern already. i went upstairs. i can watch the surroundings better from here. i reached my pocket. hey.. i still have some cigs from last night too. ah damn. i left my lighter at the desk in my room. so i go back down for my lighter. but something came up. i threw my cig away. it was the bus. i saw the bus passed by my home. the very same red bus with no marking whatsoever. the color was flashing red like it's sent from hell. and as it passed my home, the cloud suddenly turned dark. the air felt like it was polluted. i knew it. this shit is going to happen again. as i told you before, i thought i had found the pattern. i thought the bus was going to park in front of my home. but i was wrong. the ground start to lose integrity. it moved. it's shaking. oh god. no. not now. not this time. not here. please. please don't happen here. i can't stop it. i can't do anything. i thought if could confront the bus driver, i could stop this from happening. damn it. i can't see either the bus or the driver. it's funny how i actually hoped to see any of them, while the ground was shaking beneath me. i ran away from my home. as quickly as i can. i can still feel my heart shouted "NOOOOOO...!!!" but it was no use. the ground swallowed my home. it breaks apart. it's gone. i left my home with a shattered heart. and kept telling myself. why? why did i even brought my home into this. why didn't i tried to chase the bus? why didn't i tried harder to stop this thing from happening? so my home is finally gone. i walked back to see what's left of it. damn. nothing's left. wait. what was it down there. what the hell? that freakin' bus was there! it was buried beneath my house, all along. what is going on here? is this something i dont understand? is there something i miscalculated? huh? wait. while i was busy with my brain, thinking those things, i heard footsteps among my ruined house. it's closing in on me. where does it came from? i looked everywhere but still can't find where did the sound came from. moments later, the footsteps suddenly stopped. i looked behind my shoulder. and there he was. standing on his burning feet. staring at me with his cold eyes, and a big grin. it was the driver. i did had the chance to saw him this time. but i can't do anything. i'm numb. shaking like hell. i finally confront the missing piece of the puzzle. but i can't move. i can't do anything. why? why? i can't help it. i passed out.

even now as i'm writing this blog post. my laptop sometimes lag, like it's trying to stop me from writing. when i finished writing, i look at my desktop. there's a notification on my desktop. it says, there's a virus in my computer. a trojan horse. now i see. he was following me. all along..

all..

along..

gw hanya berharap bisa selalu terbangun.

[Bondan, Selasa 26 September 2006, between 11:59:59 AM dan 12:00:00 PM, is this a curse?]